“Mommy… I love you!” The words melt your heart because you know they are the truest ones you’ll ever hear from anyone. Your precious child… the one you carried and bore… the one that you would do anything for… no matter what.
Our children have the ability to inflict unspeakable joy as well as tremendous pain to our hearts and souls. Forgiveness and our unconditional love for them is what allows a mother to overlook the hurts… this level of love is reserved only to these souls who’ve entered into our lives. Spouses, lovers and friends are not subject to this type of unconditional love.
I’ve often told my children that their actions speak louder than their words… a cliché it may very well be, but so much truth is forced through this simple yet powerful statement. Our children may shower us with gifts and loving words, but actions of disobedience and disrespect reveal a disturbing truth. I understand fully that our children will do things that they’ll later regret and through their actions of genuine remorse, we see their love.
Relationships with adults are different. When you’ve opened up your heart and laid it upon the altar… bare and naked, you’ve given something of yourself. It’s the ‘do unto others as you’d have them do unto you’ kind of thing. Actions as well as words will create a loving bond between two people or drive a wedge between their two hearts. Love and trust must be nurtured or a necessary good-bye must sadly be said.
You find yourself at a crossroad and you have to ask yourself… “Are you going to do it again? Are you going to except the pain again?”
Before you step onto either road, consider your heart because actions do speak louder than words.
Until next time,
“Who would crush a butterfly on the wing? Who would crush this woman under foot? ” Lyrics from “Soul Asylum” by The Cult
There’s something seriously deep in this quote…
As a psych major for most of my college days, I tend to analyze things to death. I want to believe there are secret meanings in a persons statement…
Some deep understanding that I need to discover…
A pain… a joy… a fear… something… something that someone is trying to say in hidden messages.
I think I do this because it’s real to me.
I love music. Not just the sounds, but more intensely the lyrics.
There are days when I feel the music in my soul… the words are my hearts ache and cry… my joys and laughter…
Words… hidden meanings within them.
For so many years I lived a lie… a secret that only we knew.
The smile I wore for so long was a façade to a degree… one that was hiding so much sorrow and pain behind it.
My heart ached for freedom from the pain but I clung to hopes for something better…
Something for my children.
But I smiled.
I was happy when I was away doing what I loved with people I loved.
Have you ever given your all out of such a deep love and devotion for someone else?
Laid your own joy, peace and happiness to the side for someone else?
If you’ve sacrificed like this, you understand that pain.
You understand the sheer agony that dwells within…trying to escape, but hanging on for them…
Love and sacrifice…. that’s what we as mothers give for our children.
I wonder what it all gained some days…
Some days I believe that I did more harm than good.
Yet I’m encouraged along to not feel like that… that someday they’ll realize the sacrifice.
I don’t know…
Until next time,
We open our hearts to both love and pain. It’s inevitable really…
To love, as well as hate are choices we as an individual personally make.
We choose to accept someone into our lives, into our hearts…
…and then all too soon we realize it was the best decision we ever made or the biggest mistake…
So often our ‘gut’ tells us what we don’t want to hear.
It’s honest, this intuition that God has intuitively designed into our being…. that sixth sense some refer to it as.
I believe in it.
I trust it.
It has never led me astray… even when I’ve chosen to ignore it.
It was right even when I chose to shove it off to the side.
It was right when I hated it because it wasn’t what I wanted to feel.
We want love because love fulfills.
We want to love because giving love fills a void of emptiness and longing.
Our hearts are open battle fields.
Some will use and abuse it, while others will cherish and nurture it.
It is up to us what and who we allow into our lives.
It’s a conscious decision to open ones heart up to an individual… to let someone in.
Someone to know your strengths and weaknesses…
Your good days along with the bad.
It isn’t easy… and the decision is that much more difficult…
How do you know?
How does one trust when there has been so much pain and lies in the past?
Trust the gut and don’t shove it aside…
I believe the gut is the Holy Spirit given by the Lord to protect us.
He will protect one’s heart… if allowed.
Until next time,
A different kind of post today….
I often read other writers work and wonder how they were able to express their inner pain and struggles, their passions and regrets, their fears and anxieties in a way that bears their soul. Bears it so humbly… so raw… I feel it’s writing naked.
Not literally of course… well maybe some do, but I mean it in a proverbial sense. I mean it because I dream of writing in this capacity.
It’s scary. Laying oneself out bare and open. Do we ever really write what we think? Do we bare our inner soul’s minds deepest, darkest thoughts?
Our tempest soul?
I think I worry too much what people will think of me. Although for the most part I don’t really care what people think of me. Oxymoron???
The dirt is clean.
The dirt of the mind… is it clean?
We are self-protecting creatures by nature. Whether it be our ego that steps up and screams, “NO YOU DON’T!”
We are self-preserving creatures by nature. Our mind won’t allow the door of our heart to swing wide open.
We are self-fulfilling creatures by nature. We can make what we believe happen if we believe it hard enough.
The tempest of the mind is screaming. The mistakes. The anguish. The tears that have soiled the bed.
What is writing naked really?
What does it matter when the chances of someone reading it is slim to none?
Until next time,
“We think too much and feel too little.” author unknown
Our thought life will determine our attitudes and feelings. It can be the light that shines the way or it can be the darkness that controls our fears. Either way, I am a firm believer that it your choice in which line of thought processing you live with.
I’ve always told the children that what they feed will grow and what they starve will die. This is true with living creatures as well as our thought life.
I try so desperately to reiterate they’re need to use the Lord as their guide for all their thoughts and actions.
It’s Him after all that we are striving to please…
Him that we invite into our heart and mind or shun away ashamedly at what we’re feasting our soul on…
Life if filled with temptations. Sadly though, poor choices seem much more readily available. The world and it’s allurements entice ones mind to stray away from what they know to be good, true and right.
I often wonder why…
Why the Lord allows things to happen…
Why such bad things happen to good people…
Faith. Strength. Trust.
On these three things we rush on to each day.
We can stumble along in wonderment and constantly questioning… but really, where will we be in the end with this line of thinking?
Lonely. Afraid. Confused.
So many are tempted with these thoughts.
We don’t have to stumble. He is there to ever lead and direct our paths so that we can rise above the circumstances.
Rise… be calm… be alive…
Your thoughts will have two consequences, and they are simply joy or sorrow.
What are you feeding your soul?
Until next time,
We come face to face with a decision that needs to be made.
It’s not the easiest choice to make, but the most necessary one….
One that will lead to peace…
One that will drive you in a direction… a path… a motion…
You’ve stared at it for so long… so long that you’ve memorized the lines that would be said.
The facial expressions you’d make…
Felt the tears running down your face…
Nurtured the fears… the racing heart…
Soothed yourself from the torment that loomed over you for long.
It’s amazing how it feels…
Passions that were quenched rise to the surface.
They were suffocated for so long.
Stolen away for the right reasons… at least at the time.
The sun is shining and there will be clouds ahead, but the peace that fills your soul and mind is breath taking.
You look out the window with renewed vigor.
You feel again…
The end equals the beginning of something so much more wonderful.
Unknown origin of photo
“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” ~Carl Jung
The little boys are getting a bit stir crazy with having to be cooped in the house with all the wet weather we’ve been having.
They went outside and headed right for the mud puddles. What is it about little boys and girls and mud puddles? There’s like this magnetic force that draws them in mysteriously calling out, “Come over here little boy! I would be sooooo much fun to jump in and make a total mess of yourself!” So goes with little people. It wonders me often why they make the choice to become disgustingly filthy…
Adults like children make choices. Sometimes we jump in proverbial puddles so to speak. Too often decisions are made hastily… hence the boys jumping in the puddle getting themselves soaked and muddy. Too often decisions are made when emotions are not in proper perspective.
Whatever the situation, a far-reaching view is necessary when making life altering decisions.
No, little boys jumping in puddles is not life altering… but what about choosing an occupation and whether to begin or end a relationship? These can have long-lasting impacts on one’s life.
I often tell my children to think before they speak or do… think about what effect the decision will have not only on themselves but others. As my daughter, almost twenty, has told me… “They are my decisions to make…”
Yes they are… so make them wisely.
Until next time,